The mechanics of things are killing me

My mechanical mind is constantly analyzing and defining to offer clarity. Compulsion offers such a routine with constant explanation and comfort to the things that we cannot conquer. The mechanics of things have been the building blocks of my life. Offer a logical explanation to everything appearing as wisdom, but all for selfish comfort. There is no competitive drive, or dominating satisfaction. It s all the alleviation to obsessive fear and uncertainty. The mechanics of things are any explanation or analysis to any given situation, without prior or advised knowledge. It provides you with a constant euphoria though I can't help but feel as if it won't defeat all of my concerns. With this process I've realized the only thing I cannot define at this point is growth. Growth is the only thing I have to record instead of define, the second you numerically record growth, it has lost its element and is now a mechanic. Growth is technically an emotion, we define it in numbers, because that is the closest explanation. We give mechanics to things that destroy the actuality.